For the Explorer, the world is what counts is that of adventure, for the Builder life makes sense if you have a family, for the Director what deserves attention is intelligence and, finally, for the Negotiator, the thing for the is especially worth spending is passion. A look at the furry sex games can surely change your mindset for the same.
This therefore, according to Fisher, would be the chemistry behind the attraction. If chemistry is important, in determining the sexual attraction between people, it is certainly also other more specific evaluations, carried out by the interested parties, which take into consideration the age, the physical appearance, the way of dressing, the posture, the social behavior etc. of the possible partner. We use only a few seconds to evaluate the potential for attraction of a person, at most a few minutes. And these assessments can sometimes be ruthless.
- Those who feel they are physically attractive indeed immediately tend to reject the less beautiful people; those who love to follow fashion immediately discard those who wear too casual; who focuses on the social position, at a glance decides whether a person has the desired economic status. Despite the myth and the atmosphere of mystery that still surrounds today the mechanisms of human attraction, what seems to be proven is that people basically tend to build homogeneous couples: equal as a level of attractiveness, intelligence, culture or economic situation.
Where something is not even, the person in deficit must be able to offer something more: for example, beauty, youth, economic position, culture, social status, etc. Couples who show that they do not take into account these rules and prejudices, are regarded with suspicion and often dismissed at the social level. A young and beautiful woman, for example, is supposed to not give her beauty and youth, in the marriage market, to a person who does not have the same qualities.
The exception can be represented by the encounter with different characteristics, but equally attractive, such as wealth. In this case it is a fair exchange between consenting adults. In this regard, it is interesting to quote the opinion of the American writer Hilary Black, who argues that women, even the most emancipated, in front of a rich but ugly man, who could allow them a comfortable life without working, still live a strong ambivalence.
- Moreover, it should not be forgotten that for many centuries marriage was first and foremost a sort of very important financial transaction for the woman and her family, and now that the choice is more about the sentiments than the assets, it has been seen that if ‘beginning you choose not to think about the economic aspects, the couples hardly lasted in time: the feelings in fact change and often are not enough to keep the two partners together.
The interests in common “work” much more. If you have money or you do not have it, Black says, it’s not a detail, in a sentimental relationship: it’s a fact, which is always there, present, in everything you do. And women, a little ‘because they are used to thinking about it from an early age, a little’ because more interested in the stable couple than the casual sex, have long understood how to assess the heritage of man from a few, quick considerations.